i don’t think you’ll ever shake that feeling. and that’s ok.

life is a series of cycles of feeling lost, relief for a brief moment and seeing it all disappear as quickly as it came. you’ll find more of yourself each time though, and i think thats beautiful. it keeps you alive. that feeling of triumph against all odds.. thats the bliss. thats what its all really about.. and if you haven’t won, it’s not over. it’s never really over.

between those wins is a lot of heartbreak. in every shape and size. shit that’ll rip your heart out of your chest. sometimes many in rapid succession. but you’ll live. because if you love something you open yourself to a guaranteed heartbreak. but thats apart of it.

it doesn’t get any easier but it doesn’t have to be so hard. because at the end of the day.. it is really just you vs. you. you’re a lot more in control of things that seem so out of your grasp initially. you find the answer in stillness. the quiet - with time of course.

i think also.. getting used to the uncertainty.. it helps a lot. like being nervously excited. i’ve only ever been on one rollercoaster but its like that moment before the drop. thats the greatest feeling in the world because its a chance to triumph. but also a chance to lose. sometimes miraculously. both are equal in weight.

they’re the same thing when you get to a certain level of understanding.

also i don’t know whose character i drew i just saw it somewhere and it stuck with me. if its yours lol my bad. i loved it so i had to take it.

but back to feeling lost.

its going to come and go. most important is the latter, but also the former. again, the same lesson.

one thing though.. is that if you knew that you’d find the answer soon, you wouldn’t be so worried about it, right? because every step you take is going to be in the right direction no matter where.

faith.

faith that you are going where you need to be.

so keep going.